


Of Coffee Shoppes and Bad Days

by larksinly, the_toadlet



Series: The Email Fics - Courtesy Of Larksinly And Toadlet [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: F/M, M/M, OOOH YOU LOT ARE GOING TO BE SO ANGRY WITH US, coffee shoppe au, it's v cute and v gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-03 02:38:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10957929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larksinly/pseuds/larksinly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_toadlet/pseuds/the_toadlet
Summary: Phil runs a coffee shoppe and Dan is a twat





	1. of all the people i've met, you're the first to leave me speechless

**Author's Note:**

> Did you miss me?
> 
>  
> 
> le doom

Dan had come out for a good time but he honestly felt  _ so  _ attacked right now.

 

He had ordered his caramel macchiato, and the punk(not attractive. No. Fuck off.) barista had the  _ audacity  _ to snicker at him. 

 

“ Oi, you twat face! Did you just laugh at my  _ coffee?”  _ Phil, the barista in question, was suitably not impressed. The five-foot-six angry pastel bean who was now angrily shouting about freedom of choice or some shit like that was really not an intimidating force. 

 

“ Sorry, sorry! Here, if it makes you feel better, and stop shouting in my shop, I like these, okay?” Dan’s angry rant screeched to an abrupt halt.

 

“ Say what now.”

 

“ Yeah, yeah, I laughed, but it wasn’t because of your coffee!” Dan drew himself up, to try and utilise the small heels on his boots to his advantage.

 

“ Then what the fuck  _ were  _ you laughing at?”

 

Phil turned pink.

 

“ You just look like the sort that would totally instagram your coffee.” Dan crossed his arms in a huffy pout.

 

“ And so?”

 

“ Um…” Phil frowned. “I dunno, we’re just not really the type of coffee you’d instagram?”

 

Dan stared at him. “Well, I think that any coffee is worthy of being instagrammed if it looks nice.”

 

Phil stared right back.

 

“ Riiiight… Um, maybe try the starbucks across the road?”

 

Dan scoffed. “The baristas there are almost as shitty as you.”

 

Phil looked offended. “At least the customers there are as rude as you, you’d fit right in.”

 

Dan glared at him. “That’s it. I’m leaving. I can’t believe someone as horrible as you exists” Dan was running out of insults, but didn’t want to admit it.

 

\---

 

Dan came back the next day. What could he say, the coffee was  _ fantastic.  _ He could ward off the terrible barista for that fucking coffee if he must.

 

Phil looked up with pure dread in his eyes when the twat from yesterday opened the door.

 

The cheery little jingle of the bell did nothing to break the tension stretched thin between them.

 

“ Um.”

 

“ I-”

 

“ Look, I’m really sorry for my behaviour and will you let me buy you a coffee to make up for it?” Damn, Phil  _ really  _ hadn’t meant to say that. Woops.

 

Dan was a little shell-shocked when the adorable barista blurted out an apology, as well as a peace offering of coffee.

 

“Uh- um sure..” 

 

Phil nearly slammed his head into the counter in front of him.

 

“ Do you want it from here or do you want me to bring you to some place else?”

 

Dan could feel his face getting hot, so quickly muttered “Here is fine…” and looked down.

 

Phil supposed that made it a little easier. He turned to the machines.

 

“ Caramel macchiato?”

 

“ Yes, please.”

 

Phil made the drink and handed it to the MANCHILD in front of him. Dan was still blushing(fucking adorable, but Phil really didn’t want to thing that.)

 

“ Here you go…” Phil trailed off, not knowing the boys name.

 

“ Dan. Dan Howell. And you are..?”

 

“ Phil Lester, nice to meet you.” Dan shuffled his coffee between hands to reach out and meet Phil’s proffered handshake. 

 

Dan looked at his feet, said a quick “thank you”, and walked out of the shoppe.

 

\---

 

The next day Dan went back, not out of any real need for coffee, but to  _ maybe  _ see the cute barista again.

 

No.

 

Absolutely not.

 

That wasn’t what was happening at all.

 

Fuck, Dan was screwed.

 

Phil was a little surprised to the sheepish-looking pastel majestic MANCHILD back in his shoppe. 

 

Phil smiled at him. “Hey Dan. What can I get you?” Dan tried to hide his blush when he heard Phil say his name.

 

“Uh.. can I have a chocolate chip frappuccino?”

 

Phil nodded, and went to make the sugary drink. 

 

When Phil finished, he turned around and handed the drink to the pastel MANCHILD in front of him.

 

Dan’s soft smile was worth it, a tiny dimple showing and making Phil’s heart melt.

 

That, and the generous tip Dan left.

 

It was a while after Dan left that Phil found the little note, scrawled in a glittery ink, in the tip jar.

 

_ Phil- _

_   I’m sorry about my outburst the other day. _

_   Have my number as an apology? _

_      ~ Dan _

 

Phil grinned down at the set of numbers. He eventually pulled out his phone, decorated with a Muse cover and hearts scribbled on by his girlfriend. 

 

Not that Whitney was much of a girlfriend, but he enjoyed her company(for the most part) and it kept some of his friends from hounding him about his love life.

 

To; Danioyl <3

Hi hi

 

To; -unknown number-

Hi who’s this

 

To; Danioyl <3

Dis is phil from the coffee shoppe u gave me ur number?

 

To; Phil(cute coffee boy)

Oh. Right. What’s up?

 

To; Danioyl <3

Not much hbu

To; Phil(cute coffee boy)

Eating

 

To; Danioyl <3

O fun is it anything good

 

To; Phil(cute coffee boy)

If you count cereal as good

 

To; Danioyl <3

Well of course i do cereal is magical

 

To; Phil(cute coffee boy)

Magical?

 

To; Danioyl <3

Of course! And if you’re not careful i’ll steal all of it XD

 

To; Phil(lameass)

Did you seriously just use ‘ _ XD’ _

 

To; Danioyl <3

Yes

 

To; Danioyl <3

Do you have a problem with that?

 

To; Phil(lameass)

Yes

 

To; Danioyl <3

Oops

 

To; Danioyl <3

Better just say :))) then 

 

To; Phil(lameass)

What

 

To; Danioyl <3

:))))))))))))))))))

 

To; Phil(lameass)

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

 

To; Danioyl <3

Oh no dont be sad   
  


To; Phil(lameass)

toO LATE

 

To; Danioyl <3

Oh nu

 

To; Phil(lameass)

Why do you type like that

 

To; Danioyl <3

Like wot

 

To; Phil(lameass)

_ -Dan Howell Has Gone Offline ‘Cause He’s Done With Your Shit- _

 

To; Danioyl <3

Dan nu

 

\---

 

Phil was a little more prepared for when Dan slammed open the door with a flourish.

 

Dan walked up to the counter, glared at Phil, ordered a pumpkin spice latte, and sat down at a table, looking very grumpy and done with life.

 

“ Well, jeez, if I had known you were going to be a grumpy bear, I wouldn’t have saved you half of this croissant.” Dan whipped around.

 

“ You have a croissant?”

 

“ Yes, come over here and get it.” Phil held up a small brown bag, folded over at the top, and waved it enticingly.

 

Dan grumbled, but got up and fetched the croissant. Their hands touched for a second, sending a slight jolt up both of their arms. It seemed longer than it actually was before Dan took the croissant and wandered back to his table.

 

But he smiled at Phil, instead of being a grumbly little shit.

 

“Thanks, Phil.” Phil smiled, and Dan had to admit, Phil’s smile was one of the cutest things ever.

 

Dan turned to walk out of the shoppe, when he heard Phil’s voice. “Uh, Dan?” Dan swiveled (swirly chair) around to face him. “Yes?” 

 

“Here’s your coffee.” Phil smirked, but Dan’s little eye roll was adorable.

 

“Thanks, Phil.”


	2. you aren't as bitchy as i thought you to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mainly written by the both of us, a fourth is just larksinly.

“You don’t pay attention! Phil, if you actually wanted this relationship, you would work for it!”

Phil cringed back. Whitney had cornered him after he got back to his flat, screaming abuse at him.

“I’m sorry! What did I do?” Phil’s eyes were watering, his hands were trembling, this wouldn’t have been the first time Whitney had lashed out at him, just to take him back in the morning.

“It’s what you didn’t do, Phil! I thought you loved me, but you love that fucking coffee shoppe more than you even like me!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry..” Whitney grabbed a bag, obviously packed earlier that day, and marched out the door.

Phil slid down the wall, landing on the floor with a thump.

Oh, jesus sucking cock. (it was jesus licking a popsicle/jesus christmas but NOOO she had to change it<larksinly>)(HAHAHAHAHA<toadlet>)

Whitney had actually broken up with him.

Oh god.

\---

Dan swished through the door, his high-heeled white boots clicking on the floor. He thought he was looking fabulous, slightly to show off to Phil(but shh that’s not truuueeeee), but mostly because it was the anniversary of his grananananabanana dying and he needed a little bit of buck-up.

So when he didn’t see Phil behind the counter, just the other dude who occasionally came in to help, he was a little surprised.

To; Phil(lameass)  
Hey where are you

To; Danioyl <3  
Not coming in today sorry

To; Phil(lameass)  
Oh no, did something happen???

To; Danioyl <3  
Whit broke up w/ me i just need a day

To; Phil(lameass)  
Do you want me to get you food or something?

To; Danioyl <3  
No i dont wanna bother you

To; Phil(lameass)  
Too late what do you want

To; Danioyl <3  
Um something sugary you chose

To; Danioyl <3  
Thank you

  
To; Phil(poor bab)   
No problem

  
To; Danioyl <3  
If you’re sure

To; Phil(poor bab)  
Yeah of course

To; Phil(poor bab)  
What’s your address?

Dan glanced down at his phone, perfectly adorned with a pink glittery case with totoro on it, and shuffled the bag of sugary pastry to his other hand.

\---

Dan arrived at Phil’s flat, and knocked on his door.

“Phil? Phil, I brought scones.”

A very bedraggled and tear stained Phil opened the door, and Dan immediately dropped the scones to hug him. (the gay i just can’t<larksinly>)(shh it’s all good<toadlet>)

“Oh, Phil. Are you going to be okay?”

“I hope so.” Phil mumbled into Dan’s wavy hair.

Dan bent down to reach the bag of scones on the floor, and handed them to Phil. “Food always makes everything better.”

“Thanks, Dan. I really appreciate it.” Suddenly realising they were still standing in the middle of the hall, Phil gestured to the flat behind him. “Um, do you want to come in?”

“Sure?” Phil smiled slightly at the pastel bean in front of him before leading the way into the meticulously clean flat.

“Welcome to my humble abode, eh?”

The walls were covered in a variety of posters and pictures, and the floor (along with a few shelves) were decorated with an abundance of plants. The couch was shoved against the far wall, under a shelf of vines and some books.

Dan snickered. “Nice flat. Or should I say plants?”

Phil grinned a little.

“What can I say? I like plants. They’re all named Susan.”

“What the actual fuck.”

“Susan one, Susan two…” Phil trailed off meaningfully.

Dan just shook his head. “Whatever pleases you.”

Phil smiled and sat in the middle of his living room, eating the scones. Through a mouthful, “Thanks, Dan,” he said.

Dan had to admit, while it was definitely disgusting when other people did it, Phil managed to look cute even with a mouthful of food.

“So…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say to the sniffling Phil. Phil patted the ground in front of him, and Dan took the invitation and sat with him.

“What’d she say?” Dan didn’t know what to ask, but judging from the reaction he received he guessed it wasn’t the right thing. Phil’s slight smile dropped off his face and he looked like a sad marshmallow.

(wasn't able to sleep so i decided to write some more of this shit<larksinly>)

Dan quickly covered. “S- sorry, Phil. I just didn't know what to say…” Phil just shook his head. “Have you ever been in a relationship, Adan?” (what the fuck autocorrect? i typed dan? whatever it's staying<larksinly>) Dan shook his head and gestured to the pastel garments he was wearing. “Who would want to date this?”

Phil smiled at that. “I think it's cute.” “Didn't you just get out of a relationship, Lester?” (smut soon? i still really want to write smut<larksinly>)

Phil shrugged. “Can't you take a compliment, Howell?”

Dan fake-pouted (that includes him rolling down his bottom lip, crossing his arms, and staying quiet for 5 seconds before giggling) and tried to ignore Phil poking him.

“Phillll stoppp!” When Phil continued to poke the pastel MANCHILD in front of him, Dan stood up, and launched himself on Phil. “You asked for it!”

The poking evolved into a full-blown tickle fight.

Much to Dan’s disappointment, Phil called the war off, declaring a truce.

“Fine. But you owe me a coffee,” Dan huffed (and puffed and puffed until everything fell down and it's 3:30 and I have school and josh is going to kill me but OH WELL TOO LATE NOW<larksinly>) Phil smiled. “That seems to be the only thing you want from me.” Dan just rolled his eyes. “See ya tomorrow, Phil.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> toad doesn't know i'm posting this oOPS


	3. in which phil is a dolt in love, josh makes an appearance bc we couldn't think of names, and larksinly doesn't know i'm posting this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we wish you a merry CHRIST DAY and a GUTEN KATZEN
> 
> i'm high off sleep deprivation(as always)
> 
> yay
> 
> ta for reading as always my MENCHILDREN

Dan opened the door to Phil’s tiny coffee shoppe, letting a burst of cold air in through the door. 

 

“Phil! I want my coffee!” Phil looked up from the coffee he was making, and smiled at the little pastel MANCHILD (but i’ve typed MANCHILD so much autocorrect doesn’t even bother anymore<larksinly>)  in front of him.

 

“Good morning to you as well, sunshine. What kind of coffee do you want?” Dan pouted at the barista behind the counter.

 

“You should know by now, Phil.” Phil grinned in quite possibly the most unsettling way Dan had seen.

 

“One black coffee with extra cheese, coming right up.” Dan let out an undignified squawk, scrambling towards the counter. The high heeled boots and flared skirt probably didn’t help, but Phil was laughing too hard to actually make anything anyway(and thus we proceeded to talk about putting cheese in your coffee<toadlet>)(and a coffee shop that’s hell-based<larksinly>)(to be fair it sounds amazing<toadlet>)(it does i would totally make a habit of going there for morning coffee<larksinly>)(we need to be writing you spork but it’d be like both rainbow and darkness decorations<toadlet>)(but this fic is so fucking good why did you send it to me i’m distracted<larksinly>)(bc it’s like the best thing ever?<toadlet>)(true true<larksinly>)(mkay we gotta write before the entire fic is just us bickering<toadlet>). 

 

“You twat!” Phil stuck out his tongue, but he was grinning when he started to make a caramel macchiato. 

 

Dan went to sit down at his usual booth, tapping his fingers along to the relaxing jazz music playing in the background. Phil muttered something to the other barista, who looked like he was about to scream from it(but Phil didn’t notice)(calm down it was just telling the barista he was dumping the work on him<toadlet>)(GAY<larksinly>) and took the drink to go sit with Dan.

 

As Phil slid the drink over to Dan, Dan looked up from his phone and grinned.

 

“Hallo.” 

 

“Hello yourself, handsome.” Dan blushed when Phil winked, and Phil laughed.

 

As Dan sipped his drink, he realized Phil hadn’t moved. “Don’t you have, oh I don’t know,  _ a job _ ?” Phil laughed. “Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but there’s this thing called  _ co-workers _ .”

 

“Co what now.” Dan deadpanned, and Phil laughed again. The barista behind the counter was near tears at this point, the lovesick not-quite-couple fucking over his entire work schedule. Phil better pay out the fucking ass for this shit, or he was quitting.

 

Dan stood up, abandoning his drink, and walked over to the barista. “Sorry he’s being a bitch. Just don’t blame it on me.”

 

“It’s fine, mate.” It most certainly was not, but it was actually adorable, and the barista(whos name turned out to be _ (shit help<toadlet>)(I GOT THIS DARLING<larksinly>)(wait fuck<larksinly>)(OH NO<toadlet>)(wait i have an idea<toadlet>)(then do it?<larksinly>) _ Josh) had been texting the entire thing to his boifriend.(should we make his boi zack<larksinly>)(hell fucking yes mate what else also yes that thing i totally remember the name is supposed to be there<toadlet>)

 

Dan continued to talk to Josh, learning a few things about him, and in the end achieving his phone number. Josh, of course, was laughing internally about the whole ordeal.

 

Phil glowered at the barista from the booth he was still at, making eye contact with the(incredibly smug) Josh.

 

Dan walked out the coffee shoppe, passing a glance at Phil. He winked and blew a kiss, sticking out his tongue and grinning as the door shut behind him with a merry jingle jongle.(yes<larksinly>)

 

Phil rolled his eyes, and picked up Dan’s abandoned drink from the table, tossing it into the nearest trashcan. Josh was smirking at him from behind the counter, the fact that Dan had nearly begged him to figure out how to make Phil jealous evening out the fact that he was ABANDONED HEARTLESSLY to deal with customers.

 

\---

 

Phil returned to his flat, less than thrilled to see a curled up Daniel Howell on his couch.

 

“Dan?”

 

“Oh good, you’re back.”

 

“Did I give you a key? What?“ Dan sat up blearily and blushed.

 

“You left your door unlocked, so I assumed you were home, but you weren’t, so I fell asleep on your couch.”

 

“I left it unlocked?”

 

Dan rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

 

“Okay.” Phil scrubbed a hand over his face. “Imma go make food, do you want me to make you something?”

 

“Nah, it’s fine if you don’t want to.” Dan and Phil both jumped when Dan’s phone pinged.

 

“Who’s that?”

 

“Oh, that’s Josh.” Dan grinned down at his phone. The two had been discussing how Dan best capture Phil’s heart with the firey touch of romance(le dramatic hand swish<toadlet>).

 

Dan nearly missed the incredibly jealous look that flashed across Phil’s face.

 

Nearly.(lark lark doesn’t know i’m posting this tonight so shhh be very very quiiieeeett<toadlet>)

 

Excellent.

 

The plan was working.

 

\---

 

Josh and his boyfriend were quite amused at the goings on of the two lovesick idiots.

 

Dan had been texting Josh for a bit about how he didn’t quite break into but broke into Phil’s flat, and then he had stopped replying, and then he had said he fell asleep on Phil’s sofa.

 

Ah, sweet romance.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay so

 

this is probably gonna go on hiatus for a bit bc real life is trying to fuck us over

 

unfortunately

 

that's pretty much all i have to say?

 

ily all and thank you for putting up with the already hectic posting schedule and now this

 

larksinly has a decent explanation on her page and it's just kinda clearing up  _why_ we can't post shit

 

i'd post a chapter but i'd rather not? um

 

thank you again for understanding

-toadlet

**Author's Note:**

> shhhhh we'll add another chapter in a bit dont worry about it


End file.
